Girlfriend or Ultimate Bug?!
 

I'm CAUGHT! My girlfriend just found my 6 pot calipers and 14'' rotors and found out i spent $3000 on my new brake setup, and she gave me the Ultimatum!

IT'S ME OR THE BUG RUSSELL!

Ok my best friends in the whole world, let me know what you think. Since your are all my friends, I trust you with this dilemna; The beetle of my dreams (porsche cayenne 6 pot brakes front and rear[already got em' hah!]porsche suspension, 550 hp, 6 speed g 50 :bawling: ), OORRRRR, the girl of my dreams?

I would ask doctor phil but he's an idiot, and he wouldn't understand like you guys.

if she really loves you she would be supportive of your hobby. There will always be women, but VW's get crushed daily :laugh:

Well, on second thought post a pic of her and I'll be able to better advise you.

how about a pic of both to help us decide

both have their positives and negatives...

I can tell you this, if you give up what you desire and what you believe
in for any relationship, you will first of all become resentful of the person
you are with, which will put a wedge between the both of you. Second of
all, you will always long for what you gave up. Your desire for your dream
car will never go away. I have been into dubs for 20 years and I am finally
completing one of my first dream cars. I have built many VWs, but never
to the extent that I am buildng my current one. SO you see, even after
20 years (IM 36), the desire and drive to own an awesome dub is still there,
thru countless girlfriends and even 1 marriage.

Now I am not telling you to dump your Girlfriend, but I am giving you advice
on what to tell her...

First of all, you should go to her and try to explain to her that this is one of
your passions in life. This is one of the things that brings joy to you. Tell her,
that If she doesnt respect your desires now and at least appreciate that this
makes you happy and your not even married, what is it going to be like if you
do get married? Ask her that and see what she says? Also, tell her if she
makes you choose between your love for her and your love for your car
it is a lose lose situation either way. If you pick her and let go of your car
you will always regret it and you will eventually come to resent her for
making you choose to do so. then tell her, if you give her up for your dream
car you will alway regret leaving someone that completes you and you
cant see yourself without her (this should touch her deeply).

Tell her that if she really loves you and truly wants you to be happy in
life, that she will come to see that it is necessary for you to have dreams
and to go after them, for without dreams, life would be empty and hopeless.
Tell her that a relationship is about comprimises, not about sacrifices. Tell
you shouldnt have to change who you are or what you believe in to be loved
by her, but rather you are willing to compromise with her and spend more
time with her, if she compromises with you and tolerates your hobby. (Key word here is tolerates, not allows. Never let her think she is allowing
something. Dont say please let me do this, she is not your Mother and dont
let her think she has the upper hand in the relationship) Tell her, she doesnt
have to love what you do, only tolerate it because it makes you happy (and
maybe one day she will even grow to like it and maybe even participate).

If after having this conversation and you do not get the results you desire
and she is not willing to compromise with you, your next step is to tell her
you are not going to make a decision between her and your car, but rather
you are going to go on living your life as you have since you met her and
that if she wants to compromise with you, you are willing but you are not
going to give up either love easily. Make her understand that it is her that
will be making a choice between you and your car and that if she chooses
to leave you, you will miss her deeply, but if she chooses to stay, you will
make every effort to make her happy while still keeping yourself happy as
well.

And if she dumps your ***, she wasnt really the right one! No matter how
hot she is or how steamy the relationship is, all of that will mean nothing
if your not happy in life. The right girl will be the one that at the very
minimum accepts you for who you are and tolerates your hobbies and
dreams. If you are truly lucky, you may even find someone that shares
your hobbies and dreams!

Heres my take on this one,

Not negotiable.

If I dddnt have a creative outlet for my unspent energy, then i would spend it on more destructive things. I think its a better hobby than wine, women and gambling.

bry :D

Wow. Looks like Vujade is the GLF version of Dr. Phil. Solid advice... ;)

lol........ ;)

This stuff is hard! I've recently gone through a seperations myself.. it kills you :(

WORD on what vujade said! That is how it should be handled, cause life is to short!

Nice response there Dr Vujade :agree:

I am one step away from having my ultimate GL .. Just need to install the turbo on my T4 engine this winter. This build has taken me almost 15 years now, through high school, university, and into a marriage now.

The point is that you need to balance both your life and your hobby and if you can do that, you'll be a happy man.

Sandeep

Key word is balance as stated by Sandeep....

I was heavily unbalanced for a second, spending every dime on the Porsche stuff, rims, rear control arms, brake calipers....and she smacked me in the head wondering why I dropped so much money at ONE TIME. It wouldn't have been so bad had it been spread out, but it was all at once.

So I've slowed a bit....but relationships are about compromise, not sacrifices. I compromised by not doing everything at once...she didn't want me to stop, she wanted me to slow down...so I did.....

The advice listed by Vujade, Sandeep and oicdn is very good.
You should not have to choose, you should balance.

I don't know how old you are, how long you and your gf have been together or how the relationship is going but for sure give it a lot of thought.

I'm 38 (geez I'm old), have a wife (been together for over 15 years) and 2 kids.
When I lived in Holland I was into big US cars, when I came to Canada I was into 4x4's. Now I am in Bugs and Subaru's.

My wife does not care for my hobbies. Literally, she doesn't. BUT, I can buy my parts (within reason), I can go to shows (hell, she'll even join me), and she won't ride my *** about it (well, not every day :D ).

As said before, the key thing is balance. Now that you spent some major $$$ on your car, spent some $$$ (and time!) on your GF. Take her out... show her a good time....
If she is still balking at you...maybe you (or she) should move on.

Rob.

Ditto what Rob said, and memorize vujade's wisdom.
But... one thing that really makes the "hobby" go over smoother - SPEND at least as much on her as you do the hobby! Both money and time (and time sleeping together doesn't count!) heh heh :D
But - you gott'a be yourself - it's who you are guy!
Jeff

PS: Big $$$ flowers work wonders... :rolleyes:

I would wish for the dream girl, since I can build the dream car.

I agree with what's been said, I think my girlfriend has a problem with my hobby. Sorry to hear that it's come up. But this is a good subject as many of us might end up in this situation sooner or later. :rolleyes: I've worked my *** off this summer to make extra money for my Ghia, 12-13 hour days 5 days a week, I ended up spending most of it on visiting my girlfriend in Canada. I don't regret it, but she doesn't understand that I have dreams...

Just a thought, I'd personaly go with the advice here. I kinda hope I don't have to use it, but I'm not sure if I can give up my dreams for someone. I can do anything I want in my life, and I intend to do just that.

A true "dream" girl in a serious relationship would believe in you and your dreams and support your dream. If not then she is being selfish. I'm sure she wouldn't be upset if you spent $3000 on a ring for her.