[chug_A_bug]

When women drink....

1. We Have Absolutely No Idea Where Our Purse Is.
2. We Believe That Dancing With Our Arms Overhead And Wiggling Our Butt
While Yelling "woo-hoo!" Is Truly The Sexiest Dance Move Around.
3. We've Suddenly Decided We Want To Kick Someone's *** And Honestly
Believe We Can Do It.
4. On Our Last Trip To Pee, We Realize We Now Look More Like A Homeless
Hooker Than The Goddess We Were Just Four Hours Ago.
5. We Drop Our 3 AM Sandwich On The Floor (Which We're Eating Even Though We're Not The Least Bit Hungry), Pick It Up And Carry On Eating It.

6. We Start Crying And Telling Everyone We See That We Love Them Sooooo
Much.
7. We Get Extremely Excited And Jump Up And Down Every Time A New Song
Plays Because "Oh My God! We Love That Song!"
8. We've Found A Deeper/Spiritual Side To The Geek Sitting Next To Us.
9. The Man We're Flirting With Used To Be Our 5th Grade Teacher.
10. The Urge To Take Off Articles Of Clothing, Stand On A Table And Sing
Or Dance Becomes Strangely Overwhelming.
11. Our Eyes Just Don't Seem To Want To Stay Open On Their Own So We KeepThem Half Closed And Think It Looks Exotically Sexy.

12. We've Suddenly Taken Up Smoking And Become Really Good At It.
13. We Yell At The Bartender, Who (We Think) Cheated Us By Giving Us Just
Lemonade, But That's Just Because We Can No Longer Taste The Gin.
14. We Think We're In Bed, Even Though The Pillow Feels Strangely Like
The Kitchen Floor.
15. We Start Every Conversation With A Booming, "Don't Take This The
Wrong Way But..."
16. We Fail To Notice That The Toilet Lid's Down When We Sit On It.
17. Our Hugs Begin To Resemble Wrestling Take-down Moves.
18. We're Tired So We Just Sit On The Floor (Wherever We Happen To Be)
And Take A Quick Nap.
19. We Begin Leaving The Buttons Open On Our Button Fly Pants To Cut Down
On The Time We're In The Bathroom Away From Our Drink.
20. We Take Our Shoes Off Because We Believe It's Their Fault That We're
Having Problems Walking Straight.