I hate thieves...(even the ones who didnt take anything)

[Uber Affe]

Screw that. I live in Texas and I have no gun. I live in a Aptartment complex.
I call it " The Suck" 'cause it's like a freaking frat house w/ all the stupid college kids who live here. Thankfully (knock on wood) My car has never been broken into while I've owned it. 'Course...There's really nothing to steal...my dragfast shifter knob maybe? I have no radio. When it belonged to my girlfriend they broke into it and stole her stereo AND her speakers! They broke the damn window...shattered it. The irony? The doors weren't even locked..Assholes.
Anyway...
I'd Never use a gun if someone broke into my bug and I caught them.
That would rob me of the sheer pleasure of squeezing there heads off like bottle caps and beating the stinking tar out of them, dragging their gnarled and twisted, bone cracked carcasses to the police station and explaining how "I found them this way in my garage." before going home and "disinfecting" my car of their theiving stench.

Whew!

That felt good!

Muuuuuhuawhahahahahaahhaahahah!!!!!